Imagine a drug so powerful it can destroy a family simply by distorting a man’s perception of his wife. Picture an addiction so lethal it has the potential to render an entire generation incapable of forming lasting marriages and so widespread that it produces more annual revenue — $97 billion worldwide in 2006 — than all of the leading technology companies combined. Consider a narcotic so insidious that it evades serious scientific study and legislative action for decades, thriving instead under the ever-expanding banner of the First Amendment.

According to an online statistics firm, an estimated 40 million people use this drug on a regular basis. It doesn’t come in pill form. It can’t be smoked, injected, or snorted. And yet neurological data suggest its effects on the brain are strikingly similar to those of synthetic drugs. Indeed, two authorities on the neurochemistry of addiction, Harvey Milkman and Stanley Sunderwirth, claim it is the ability of this drug to influence all three pleasure systems in the brain — arousal, satiation, and fantasy — that makes it “the pièce de résistance among the addictions.”

Earlier this month, the Witherspoon Institute released a report examining “The Social Costs of Pornography,” signed by more than 50 scholars representing a wide array of professions, academic disciplines, and political views. The report details the considerable social costs that pornography exacts upon men, women, and children. The findings of the report hit particularly close to home for me. By his own account, my husband of 13 years and high-school sweetheart, was first exposed to pornography around age ten. He viewed it regularly during high school and college — and, although he tried hard to stop, continued to do so throughout the course of our marriage. For the past few years he had taken to sleeping in the basement, distancing himself from me, emotionally and physically. Recently he began to reject my sexual advances outright, claiming he just didn’t “feel love” for me like he used to, and lamenting that he thought of me “more as the mother of our children” than as a sexual partner. Then one morning around 2am he called, intoxicated, from his office to announce that he had “developed feelings” for someone new. The woman he became involved with was an unemployed alcoholic with all the physical qualities of a porn star — bleached blond hair, heavy makeup, provocative clothing, and large breasts. After the revelation, my husband tried to break off his relationship with this woman. But his remorse was short-lived. Within a few months he had moved permanently out of the home he shared with me and our five young children. In retrospect, I believe he succumbed to the allure of the secret fantasy life he had been indulging since his adolescence. My husband is not alone. According to Dr. Victor Cline, a nationally renowned clinical psychologist who specializes in sexual addiction, pornography addiction is a process that undergoes four phases. First, addiction, resulting from early and repeated exposure accompanied by masturbation. Second, escalation, during which the addict requires more frequent porn exposure to achieve the same “highs” and may learn to prefer porn to sexual intercourse. Third, desensitization, during which the addict views as normal what was once considered repulsive or immoral. And finally, the acting-out phase, during which the addict runs an increased risk of making the leap from screen to real life. This behavior may manifest itself in the form of promiscuity, voyeurism, exhibitionism, group sex, rape, sadomasochism, or even child molestation. The final phase may also be characterized by one or more extramarital affairs. A 2004 study published in Social Science Quarterly found that Internet users who had had an extramarital affair were 3.18 times more likely to have used online porn than Internet users who had not had an affair. Among other things, the Witherspoon report is a stern warning to all married women to take seriously the signs of a sexual addiction, before it is too late.

Read more…

Source: http://article.nationalreview.com/429884/getting-serious-about-pornography/anonymous

Related Blogs

In the first study of its kind University of Sydney researchers are investigating how addiction to internet porn affects people’s work, finances and relationships.

Some 70 per cent of men and 30 per cent of women access internet porn, according to Dr Gomathi Sitharthan, the researcher behind the study and Deputy Coordinator of the University of Sydney’s Graduate Program in Sexual Health.

“Viewing porn online becomes a major problem only when people become so preoccupied that they spend 16 to 18 hours a day doing nothing else but watching porn, with serious impacts on relationships, work, studies, and finance,” Dr Sitharthan said.

“In recent years we have seen increasing numbers of clients coming to counselling practices with online porn addictions. They come from all walks of life: students, teachers, lawyers, health practitioners and priests.

“Often they will come to counselling with another problem, and the underlying problem of addiction to internet porn may come out after two or three sessions. The sensitive nature of this issue means many people find it very hard to talk about.”

Internet porn addiction is a growing problem partly due to its easy accessibility in the comfort of people’s home, according to Dr Sitharthan. But currently there are limited treatment options.

The survey is looking to further our understanding of internet pornography addiction and how best to offer assistance to overcome it.

Dr Sitharthan hopes there will be broader public discussion of the issue, particularly given the recent spotlight on the topics of sex addiction (in the case of Tiger Woods) and the ready availability of explicit images online (in the case of the Macquarie banker caught viewing revealing pictures of Miranda Kerr).

The public are invited to take part in the “The Impact of Internet Pornography survey”,which takes about 30 minutes to complete and is currently online here.

To interview Dr Sitharthan contact Kath Kenny on(02) 9351 2261 or 0434 606 100 or kath.kenny@sydney.edu.au

http://www.sydney.edu.au

Related Blogs

Regan McMahon, Special to The Chronicle

A 50-year-old married physician views Internet pornography for hours at home, masturbating five to seven times a day, then begins surfing porn sites at the office and risks destroying his career.

A woman spends four to six hours a day in Internet chat rooms and having cybersex, and eventually starts arranging to meet online strangers for casual sex in the real world.

A man spends many hours a day downloading porn, filling multiple hard drives, and devotes a separate computer just to pornography.

A married couple view pornographic movies together as part of their loving relationship, but the husband starts spending more time watching and less time with his wife, who feels left behind and rejected.

These scenarios are real-life examples of pornography addiction, a compulsive behavior that falls within the category of sex addiction – which has been in the spotlight since the explosive revelations of golf champion Tiger Woods’ numerous sexual infidelities.

Millions of Americans struggle with porn addiction for years in secret, without getting caught, and continue their behavior even after it begins to have negative consequences in their life. For some individuals, images are enough, and they remain locked in the fantasy world of pornography. For others, Internet porn is a gateway to compulsive and risky sexual behavior with others.
Up to 8% addicted

The National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity estimates that 6 to 8 percent of Americans – or 18 million to 24 million people – are sex addicts. And 70 percent of sex addicts report having a problem with online sexual behavior.

“Sex addiction is an acting-out symptom,” explains marriage and family therapist Jason Saffer, co-director of the Center for Creative Growth in Berkeley and a specialist in treating sex addiction. “It allows a person to mood-alter away from emotional pain that resides deep inside. In treating addiction, we have to stop the unhealthy behavior, but then do the work to find out what the underlying emotional pain is.”

If people want to escape feelings of low self-esteem, shame, isolation or the pressures of life, work or relationships, pornography is a place to get lost and feel wanted, imagining the perfect partners who always desires them – and whom they can always satisfy.

“Like with any addiction, it’s a predictable way to soothe,” says San Francisco psychotherapist Gregory Rowe. “I’ve talked to soldiers back from Iraq who say the Internet centers there are jammed with soldiers masturbating to porn. It’s a way to manage their anxiety.

“For 90 percent of men, images are a big source of stimulation,” he says, whereas women – an estimated 25 to 30 percent of online porn users – tend to prefer interactive chat rooms. ComScore Media Metrix, a company that measures Internet usage, reports that more than 70 percent of men age 18 to 34 visit a pornographic site in a typical month.

“Porn addiction is a huge problem because people lose jobs over it,” Rowe says.

In 2008, Nielsen Online reported that one-fourth of employees use the Internet to visit porn sites during their workday. Online porn sites report that highest usage is between the hours of 9 a.m. and 5 p.m.

According to the Web site Divorcewizards.com, huge numbers of divorce lawyers report that pornography is a big issue in divorce these days, which it never was before the advent of the Internet.

The anonymity of the Internet, says Drew Tillotson, a San Francisco psychologist who specializes in porn addiction, allows one to connect with others in chat rooms or online reality games such as Second Life without fear or insecurity, crafting an image of oneself or an avatar that bears little resemblance to who the person is in real life.

Dana Iscoff, a San Francisco psychotherapist who has treated sex addicts, says it is particularly difficult for patients to stay away from Internet porn because “we are always on our computers, and it’s always available.”
Goal: healthy sexuality

The big difference between substance addiction and sex addiction, says psychologist Brigitte Lank, founder of the Lank Institute for Sexual Addiction and Recovery in San Rafael, is that “the treatment goal is not abstinence; the goal is healthy sexuality. This is an intimacy disorder as well as an addiction.”

Lank says addictive masturbation often goes in tandem with porn addiction, but for many users the goal is not to climax but rather to maintain arousal and be on that brink of orgasm for four, six, even eight hours. “It really starts to become a fetish.”

The addicts who spend hours downloading, categorizing and storing porn display behavior similar to that of hoarders, she says. “The same kind of obsessive-compulsive aspect is part of the anxiety. You get comfort and satisfaction just knowing it’s there, like having a lot of toys in the toy closet. It gives you a sense of mastery and control.”

San Francisco marriage and family therapist Julian Redwood, who specializes in treating patients with pornography addiction, says the biggest problem is that there is a physiologically addictive nature to porn and all sexually addictive behavior. People build up a tolerance and need more and more stimulation to achieve the same high. “So someone might start by looking at images of a normal heterosexual couple having sex and then move on to watching bestiality or sex with children. People push their edge.”
Sexualized culture

Twenty percent off all Internet porn involves children, according to a 2003 study.

“Online porn is so much about the hunt,” Redwood adds, which is part of why people spend so many hours at it, at the expense of their jobs, family, social life and sleep. They keep searching for the image or video that is going to turn them on. It’s similar to the drug addict going out to score the drug, or someone into prostitutes cruising the red-light district. “But there are lots of people who would never go to a prostitute who engage in Internet porn.”

Saffer says the availability of Internet porn has increased the prevalence of sex addiction behaviors, especially in young people, who live in a more highly sexualized culture than existed 15 or 20 years ago.

Previously, a young boy might be thrilled to get his hands on a copy of Playboy to glimpse photos of naked women. But nowadays, boys and girls can watch Internet videos of people actually having sex, some of it violent.

“I’m amazed that more parents don’t use parental controls on their computers,” Redwood said. “It’s like letting your kids play with crystal meth.”

“The danger,” Saffer says, “is it creates such a distorted view of what sex is and its place in a relationship.”
Resources

Here are some resources for dealing with pornography addiction, including therapists and free, 12-step-type support groups:

Drew Tillotson: www.sexaddicthelp.com

Brigitte Lank: www.drlank.com

Julian Redwood: www.julianredwood.com

Jason Saffer: jasonsaffer@creativegrowth.com

Dana Iscoff: (415) 474-4567

Gregory Rowe: www.gregoryjrowe.com

Porn Addicts Anonymous: www.pornaddictsanonymous.org

Sex Addicts Anonymous: www.saa-recovery.org

Sexaholics Anonymous: www.sa.org

Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health: www.sash.net

E-mail Regan McMahon at datebookletters@sfchronicle.com.

This article appeared on page E – 1 of the San Francisco Chronicle

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=%2Fc%2Fa%2F2010%2F02%2F22%2FDD0J1C3UNG.DTL#ixzz0gPPNH1ju

Related Blogs

Here’s an excerpt:

Whatever the experts call it, many agree that an obsessive sex life is a condition that can require treatment ranging from medication to residential treatment programs. The rise of Internet pornography – much of it free and anonymous – has fueled the problem. Patrick Carnes, a pioneer in the field, believes that 3 to 6 percent of the population suffers from the condition, which he defines as compulsive behavior that interferes with normal living.

“With the advent of the Internet and access to pornography, the number of men coming for help now who have serious problems with porn has increased greatly,’’ says Dr. Martin P. Kafka, who has treated more than 1,000 people with sexual disorders. “I think this whole thing is very scary for women.’’

http://www.boston.com/news/health/articles/2010/02/16/those_facing_sex_addiction_get_help_understanding/

Related Blogs

Hundreds of police workers have faced disciplinary action for looking at internet pornography and social networking sites, figures show.

More than 400 officers and support staff have been sacked or given warnings after being caught looking at inappropriate material online.

Officers have also been dismissed for using police databases to check out people’s backgrounds for personal reasons.

Related Blogs

While they can help to reduce or block certain sites from being accessed, it merely covers the symptoms of your addictive habit. There are filters to block “shopping sites” if you have compulsive shopping and spending problem; there are filters to block out gambling sites if you’re addicted to betting and gambling online, and various other types of compulsion/addiction. They are useful to an extent by alerting you whenever you stumble upon such sites, but no tools will the examine root cause of your own behavior. For instance, if you’re addicted to food, would you put a lock on your refrigerator? That may provide relief for the short-term; for long-term effectiveness, it’s better to examine and resolve the root issue within.

Internet Filters may be ideal if you have a family and want to protect the kids from obscene materials online. Filtering softwares are a good measure for having an accountability partner to monitor your web surfing activities and habits if you wish to let other know of your web surfing issues. There are great Internet filters out there to block adult-related sites for certain situation that can serve as one of the many resolutions to alleviate your porn addiction. To some people, however, it does not address the mental behavior. Adult-content filters act much like using Internet security firewalls or anti-popup softwares; they only block the unwanted content/websites, but not the real reason why you are tempted to visit such sites in the first place. In short, it can stop the porn out there, but not stop porn addiction yourself.

The issue of being addicted to porn lies in your subconscious habit. If you’re really tempted, chances are you’ll use whatever means to watch porn to recapture that “pleasurable” urges. To break the addictive cycle, it requires a shift in your core values and mindset. The temptation to watch porn did not come from the computer or Internet, but began as a habit as a result of emotional triggers such as stress, boredom, procrastination, and loneliness based from an area of your life that’s off-balance. If your issue is a chronic emotional issue such as depression, it’s strongly recommended you seek a professional therapist or counselor to help understand your unique situation beyond the Internet.

For shifting your thought pattern, it helps to become more aware of your web surfing routines. For instance, think of your usual web surfing habits — for many folks, it may include checking your emails, visiting daily news sites, visiting your businesses, academic, or entertainment sites. Those web surfing pattern were acquired through your daily habits through a subconscious level on autopilot. Everyone all have habits for the activities they do; likewise, your web surfing habits and the motive behind them are held in your subconscious programming. It’s also worth noting that the decision to watch porn on computer may actually be formed offline as well — you were perhaps tempted by a “trigger” in your environment and decided to use the Internet as an opportunity to check out some porn images to masturbate to. Regardless, it’s important to become more aware of your thought pattern and habit to break the cycle.

Some helpful solutions to be more aware of your web surfing habits:
1) Know the reasons why you’re visiting the sites you do – is it for work, school, consumer research, or a break?
2) Always have a plan for project or task you set to accomplish when surfing the web – focus one thing at a time and avoid distractions
3) Plan to gauge the time it will take to accomplish certain task on whenever you use the computer — you’ll be surprise 30 minutes can become 3 hours real easily if you do not keep track of your usage.
4) Focus on pleasurable outcome instead of pleasure feelings. It’s likely you’ll digress from your work and seek some kind of fun when you procrastinate. Consider that the real long-term pleasure may actually come from completing “dreadful” tasks first.

This will take repeated measure as it takes a certain amount of repetition to establish new anchors and habits. Think about how you were still writing the year 2009 on your checks, paper, or documents when it is now a new decade. It took you awhile to make the habit change as a repeated process. Consequently, when you placed your attention in changing your mental programming, you shift the focus of having the power, choice, and responsibility to change. Internally, you can instead apply the “filtering” software within your mind first.

Source:  http://ezinearticles.com/?Can-Internet-Filters-Help-If-You-Are-a-Porn-Addict?&id=3562439

Related Blogs

Source:  http://ezinearticles.com/?New-Years-Resolution—Quit-Porn-Addiction!&id=3464590

Related Blogs